LONGEST BATTLE

My big sis Tania wrote this poem and i thought it was awesome shes very creative with her words i just loved it and i wanted to share it with whom ever comes across my blog... LUVLE55

Feelings all mixed and confused,
Understanding what has happened to bring this upon me,
Knowing what I have to do in order to make things right
, Not wanting to go where I would have to go,
But it is a must, Not a Choice, Things need to be done,
In order for everything to fall back in place,
For last few days I have cried in tears of Pain,
Begging god to listen to me, Silently I pray as
I write this for this is the turmoil,
For this is what it has come down to,
For what has been caused in the past
can not change the present, But I can change the drama,
the dilemma, the sequence of this pattern which has haunted me forever,
I will draw the shots, I will speech, Must prepare for this has been a long battle,
Now I am prepared to win this fight. Without anything coming in the way.
For I am and Forever will be me!
This is my fight my battle, I have knowledge on how to perceive
the existence that has so long yet bothered me,
I will have control. Power is a Must.
For I cry upon the Gods guide me through this,
let me have the strength and animosity to fight this long battle,
For now it shall come to an end.
~the end~

Mother Charged in Death of Abandoned Newborn

FOLLOW THE LINK

http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local/Mother-Faces-Murder-Charge-after-Leaving-Newborn-Son-in-Store-Bathroom-133539233.html

COD MW3 SMELLS LIKE DOUGHNUTS

So i took my lil bro last night to game stop last night for the premier of COD's MW3.... we arrived there at like 9:30 pm and was told in order to get our wrist bands we needed the receipt... I looked at my lil bro Jr and he said he doesn't have it... so we drove home i decided i needed a cup of tea because it was too cold to stand waiting without it... we got back to the location at 10:15 ill say and checked in and was about the 60th in line waiting... as we were waiting all kinds a weird things happened i was crushing on a couple cute gamer guys lol what can i say they were cute n nerdy i liked that about guys... anyways the line had extended all the way around the strip mall and past the dunkin donuts drive thru window... so a football player looking guy starts walking past my lil n i.. n my lil bro elbows me to look at him cus he resembled a pro football player as i looked up from underneath my umbrella he looked right back at me n i felt embarrassed n smiled n he had a goofy looking grin on him like he was thinking "yea i know u checkin me out" UMM NOO my lil bro made me!!! So anyways i looked at my lil bro about to snap n he flashes me his phone with a pic of the pro football player n i was like OMG its him whats he doing here n i was about to chase after him but my lil bro stopped me b4 i made a fool of myself n said its not him relax... lmao i still couldn't believe the resemblance between the two that caused me to stare for the rest of the night n kept getting goofy smiles from him n me looking away embarrassed... THANKS JR!!! As we are standing there i notice the young mother in front of me who is dying to make conversation but doesn't cus she doesn't know how i wud react so i make small talk with my lil brother to keep her busy listening in on so she knows its okay ta jump in and chat away with me lol... but then a couple guys drive up from right behind me n i hear someone calling out hey girl HEY GIRL!! i moved my umbrella aside n turned around to find a really cute guy leaning over to the drivers side window from the passenger seat trying to get my attention n i couldn't help myself but laugh at the awkward situation that was going on... normally i wud tell the guy hanging out the passenger side of his best friends ride to take a hike... but there was over 100 people witnessing what was going on so i was speechless n didn't know what else to do but lmao!! the poor driver was laughing and looked uncomfortable because his passenger friend was practically in his lap trying to get my attention n for me to talk to him... i kept my back towards them laughing n the young mom was laughing too n i know she was dying to say something so i turned around to see if the guys were gone to make convo with her but they were still there n i couldn't help laughing n i bent over laughing n didn't realize i did that right in their face n all i heard was DAMMMMM hey girl hey hey hey hey girl hey so i said WHAT lemme alooonee and all over 100 people stared like omg whats going on over there.... finally they drove off n the mom was like whats that about i shrugged my shoulders n said i dunno honestly no idea... its like they haven't seen a female before lol...  time goes bye the young mother n i are chatting away when a man with long blond hair and wearing a leather trench coats i look at my lil brother n tell him to look but hes got this weird face on him like hes seen a ghost... i asked him if he saw that guy and i joked about hes got an AK-47 under the coat n hes out ta kill all the future campers... my lil bro says he smiled at me all weird... i thought it was funny that my lil brother was spooked out by this guy... so the line starts to move and all the guys are screaming n yelling excited about the game... one guy gets to his car right next to our spot in line n someone from the line asks him whats it smell like n he paused for a moment not knowing how to respond to it and then looks up and says SMELLS LIKE DOUGHNUTS!!! we picked up our copy and headed back home my brother has been playing non stop since 12:30am didnt go to school and is still playing... i havnt played yet but i am looking very much forward to it ill let u know when i do- LUVLE55

Gossip Girl

OMG!!! there really is an actual blog about gossip girl... i even commented to try and see if i could i know its just a show but to actually go thru with a blog and allow people to comment on it... Its Genius!!!! i love it... Check it out http://gossipgirl-blog.cwtv.com/?cat=32 i been watching the show on netflix... steve got me watching it when we moved in together but when i moved out i couldnt keep up... im on season 3 and Blair just told chuck she doesnt like who she is when shes with him... sounds sorta like me... i love chuck bass <3 i cant see him without Blair... they are perfect together- LUVLE55

MW2 FREE FOR ALL

Ill take a nigga out at all costs, In the end it b ur loss.. they call me miss boss my real nikkas call me lola only on xbox ur worlds run by my controlla... my predator missles got nikkas movin ova.. tossin semtex stickies throwin bodie at me wit 50s corner whorin witta spaz... blastin nikkas ass... FINAL KILL CAM 150 ona no scope Head Shot Interventioned ur head off... im on top wit 1500... Thats what I thought!

MARE N TENA NOT SO PERFECT BFSF

My lil Sis Mare n I

10th year Tribute to Aaliyah Dana Haughton

I LOVE HER!!! so i made this! hope u like it was for her tenth year death anniversary!

CANT EXPUNGE OR SEAL MY RECORD?!!!!

Called a few lawyers today n they told me its illinois law that I CAN'T expunge or seal two cases I had in the past... There both over 5 years old I've completed probation with no problems I've never served a day in the pen.... N they can't do it?!! I was told it's not in the judges hands it's "THE LAW"! For sum reason FKN hookers and crackheads get ta clear up their fkd up names... Why the fuk is that? Y do they get i bonds n let back go with just a slap on the wrist... n allowed to clear their names?? I cried n bitched... Nothing is ta b done but try n change the law!! I think imma start working on trying to get that done... But HOW??? iunno I'll try n see whatever it is that can b done with whatever I've got... My life can't end because a few mistakes I've made in my past... It's just not fair for me or anyone else having to deal with this... LUVLE55

Halloween Light Show 2010 HD - Thriller ( Michael Jackson )

JOON

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LATE NITE THOUGHTS

Again one of those sleepless nights thinking bout my life thinking bout it twice shud I jus up n leave call it quits with everything.. Disappear where nobody knows me find me later on the channel ID investigation discovery "DISAPPEARED" hahaha wonder if they look for me n wud I feel weird?!! Out alone I dun know anyone!! But my friends n family at home I dun think I got the guts ta take this world on my own... Naaaahh Imma stay right here n face my troubles cus SERIOUSLY there really ain't no place like HOME!!

JEHOVAHS WITNESS

There was a knock on the door this morning. I opened it to find
a young man standing there who said: "I'm a Jehovah's Witness."

I said "Come in and sit down, what do you want to talk about?"

He said, "Beats the shit out of me, I've never gotten this far before."

LOVELESS

u think u come in my life spiitin that fake ass game u Mafkn lame u make me laugh sit Yo ass down boy n get a pen n pad n lemme school ya ta sum shyt I ain't that bitch a nigga can hit think he quit call me up Wen he needs a fix I'm not Yo drug u bitch ass feen u cant take me for a ride justa put u ona lean this my sceen I'm the teacher in this bitch if anyone hittin quitting shyt it's loveless trick ©

LMFAO

A fellow dies, goes to hell, and is surprised when confronted by a room full of beautiful blondes and kegs of beer.

He asks a nearby demon if this is really hell, and what was so bad about the place.

"Well," said the demon, "the kegs all have holes in the bottoms, and the blondes don't!

GETTING WHAT I WANT

I searched n I found n thanks to the love of my life he gave me wat I wanted... I'm so proud to have him in my life he really knows how to make me happy I dunno wat I would do without him... Look at what he bought me... EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED :-) 1995 Lincoln Town Car Signature Series champaign with black  cloth top mint black leather interior wood grain fully loaded with 86k original miles... I must say BETTER THEN MY LAST... except for my last had an Amazing color one touch sunroof two-tone interior and RUST FREE GARAGE KEPT... this one no sunroof no two tone interior and minor rust on the drivers side rear tire well with a hole in the muffler and abs is bad... Blue book value over 4k I payed $1700.00 not bad but I still got what I wanted n what I was looking for I know I can't get no better then this... Abs a minor rust spot n a hole on the muffler r nothing... Easy fix!!! N then the cars more then perfect... For now FONZIE that's what I named him is perfect-LUVLE55

NO PRIVACY

You would think that the only place nobody on earth can bother you the only place where you only know and belongs to only you that you DON'T have to share wouldn't be invaded.... Ur mind Ur private thoughts something so private that you sometimes even wish n think god can't hear... BUT IT HAS!!!! in order for me to keep something from my mom id have to b a robot.... fk... not even that she wud still ask me whats wrong!!! This lady has to know everything n if i say something like its nothing, nothings wrong... she will yell n b like then WTF is wrong wit ur face u look like somethings wrong tell me... No mom nothings wrong.. "ohh u r ur fathers daughter" "u r his seeds" blah blah fkn blah she WILL raise hell if she doesnt know wat bothers me n i feel sick that i have to deal with someone like her!!!!!! Str8 Up NO PRIVACY-LUVLE55

BURNED ALIVE

It's confirmed it's gone... I found out that... Well here's what I heard... My friend rented out an apartment to sum college kids they didn't pay the lease was in the parents name they got evicted trashed the place n the parents paid for damages an what might have happened but have no proof of is that they came back broke the sun roof and set it on fire!!!! So the whole interior was burned to bare metal my precious metal burned n uggghhhhh if I find these boys I will yank their hair out there college kids n I know there white boys so yea they got sum long hair n IMMA rip it out!!!! The engine was still good but nothing left of the interior :-( I'm hurt and it sucks CUS I feel weird feeling like this over a car that was hardly even mine... BUT I WANTED IT SOOOO DAMM BAD!!! life sucks time to find a new car that will never capture my heart like my stankin lankin did... It's been junked n I never got to say good bye... I will always love u my Tony!! You were a great and amazing car and there's sum FUCKED UP MUTHAFKRS OUT THERE N I WISH I CAN GET THEM FOR WHAT THEY DID!!! paybacks A MUTHAFKR- LUVLE55

IS LOVE EVER ENOUGH

I just recently found out that the one car I wanted is gone... BURNED... This car meant alot to me n I dunno why but it held my heart in a way that I couldn't let go... Couldn't get this car off my mind every time I thought about sitting behind the wheel I felt a rush of excitement thru me... Around this time last year I was gonna ask my friend to buy the car "back" n he sold it twice within this past year n he ended up with it again so I planned on asking again n this time I expected n felt that it wud b mine but it ended up getting burned somehow when they were repairing it... I dunno the extent of the damage but it has to b bad if he's called a junkyard :-/ so I was thinking is it true when some things are too good to be true??? Is it true that some things aren't meant to happen?? I could have sworn that car wud b mine again n why is it that it's not?!!!! This car 1995 Lincoln Town Car Presidential Series I believe is one of a kind never duplicated no twins or sister... WELL I'M INSISTING IT DOESN'T HAVE!! Here's why it's unique the color is a custom light money green with a pearl coat and a cream colored full rag top which covered two rear windows which are standard in a 95 TC and from the inside those windows are covered also but if u tap on it u can feel the glass... Records on this car that I still have dating back from the original purchase which was over $60k say that the sunroof was installed after market on the same day it was bought... This car was custom designed by a man that has past on I believe he was wealthy he lived in a high-rise in downtown my sons father that I've been with for 10yrs now purchased the car from the mans grandson for $900 u won't believe that was the best deal ever!!!! Mint condition back seats look as if they have never been sat on cream colored leather two tone hunter green n cream wood grain memory drivers seat fully loaded keyless entry this car was just a surprise every time u cleaned it... I remember finding a $20 stashed in the armrest of the drivers seat it was tucked under a coin pocket that wasn't supposed to come apart but it was there... I ended up spending it months later n I was thinking Mayb that's what might have cause my bad luck with this car :-/ soooo this is how I ended up with this car n losing it... I had pled guilty to a case which required me to b on work release (that's another story) I needed transportation n steve just bought his 2001 buick lesabre (another story) so he had a car an lemme use TONY that's what I called the car... Well that was over n he still let me have the car we moved in together n I had tickets to pay n the car ended up booted Steves mom went to pay for the fines which included towing so I sat waiting for the tow truck n had a standoff with the city of Chicago cops, department of revenue and a towing company I told them she's paying right now and to call in and get confirmation to remove the boot the city of Chicago said they still have to tow the car to the lot even if it's paid off... DO U KNOW WHAT THEY DO TO CARS THERE??? they use a fork lift to move them around which means damage to Ur undercarriage an possibly trans... Well they took it we got it back and lost a shyt load of money... We were behind on rent I was in school n one day on my way to school I was flying thru traffic hitting bumps but never felt them lol air suspension hehehe I dunno what happen but the car collapsed on the drivers side jumped the median and was heading straight towards a tree I turned an turned my wheel n by now it was all the way turned to the right n nothing I was gonna hit this tree I screamed n pulled it hard to the right n by inches missed the tree I slowed to a stop pulling off the road into a auto shop a block away n got out to see what happen... The tie rod on the drivers side was hanging off so my ball joint broke my car was ona lean n I was heart broken... It's Steves car but imma say it's mine I deserved him I took care of him n steve had a car n I'm his sons mother practically his wife so I got rights lol... Anyway I called steve got the car temporarily fixed till we take it to the shop... So one morning I was getting ready for school I told steve I don't think I shud use the lincoln n he shud either drop me off or lemme take his car he was saying no I can't (another story) so I got two miles away from my home and I got a flat I drove it a couple more blocks and parked it and called steve had him pick me up I gave him the I TOLD YOU SO and the YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO ME bitching... The car sat there n I never drove it again EVER... we were behind on bills n rent because of the boot so we made a regretful decision we asked our friend if he wants to buy the car he gave us $800 i cried n our friend said we can buy the car back when we want... we were back on our feet but miserable steve n I constantly fought over the Buick n I started doing bad in school... Steve and I separated I dropped out of school couple months later I want the car back it's sold I buy the Buick n I failed lost the Buick n now I planned on buying Tony again n I find out it's burned!!!! So I was thinking I love this car so much n it's slipped thru my fingers alot.... Is love ever enough??? -LUVLE55

My First Blog

Yoo... Wow I'm bouta talk to myself lol oh well it's somewhat normal hope people see this so i don't feel too weird embarrassed yes but not tooo weird... ANYWAYSSS my back is killen me my neck my thighs I have an idea why but who knows can't see a doctor cus I been cut from my insurance they only cover me now for prenatal stuff... DAMM BS n me n steve my sons father my on n off bf of ten yrs... Nov 22, 2001 yep yep n I'm just realizing NOOWW that our anniversary passed n neither of us remembered well I didn't wondering if he did n didn't say anything about it what if he feels like shyt cus I didn't say anything about it... I hate thinking I'm glad I'm blogging it tho yippie lmao... Yea so my thighs hurt I'm guessing cus I was squatting for like 20 mins reading something off FB earlier that caught my attention n couldn't move n it reminded me I HAVE A BLOGSPOT... n now I'm here!!! N I'm assuming my neck n back have something to do with the way I sleep or maybe the epidural I used for my son Mathews birth 2/14/2006 yep V-Day Baby he's gonna b a heart breaker my handsome lil man... K or cus I crack them way too much n I'm poising my cartilage whatever it is I'M HURRRTIINNGG!!! I need pain meds right now... Took em befor for my kidney stone n other pains befor made me feel lovely!! But they make u feel nasty after a few days if takin em like ur withdrawing from not having em but guess what i control me nobody else so fuk u pain meds imma survivor n do without u!! "I'M ABOVE THE INFLUENCE" yea I said it yea imma lame n whattt... I just dun give a fuuukkk... N on that note I'm out bytches... LoVeLeSs